Transition

I love my life. Especially this past year. I was living in San Marcos, going to classes at Texas State University. I have the best roommate on the planet and wonderful friends. My apartment was in the perfect spot, where I could walk to school, the grocery store, and I could take a stroll to get downtown coffee. I could easily go hiking or walk down to the river. I went to small groups and bible studies with wonderful people and attended  churches I really liked. San Marcos really started to feel like home to me. I wouldn't have changed a thing about this past year. I learned a lot about myself, all while having so much fun. 

I just finished up my college classes and am starting my social work internship this week. I found an internship at a wonderful agency in San Antonio, which meant I needed to move back. I am almost done moving, but I haven't accepted this fact with as much grace as I'd hoped. For the most part, I've been trying to cling to my happy little life in San Marcos. I've been kinda sad, anxious and wallowing in it. I don't know if it looks like that from the outside, but I definitely feel it on the inside. 

Like a lot of us might do, I think I've been more focused on what I will be losing than all the things I could be gaining by this transition. I feel like the word "perspective" keeps coming to mind, and mine needs a little bit of a shift.

This past year may have been absolutely wonderful, but it doesn't mean I am meant to stay there. 
Sometimes we like our life stage so much that we don't want to leave it. Leaving our current stage may be uncomfortable, but sometimes that's what needs to happen for growth. When we do that, it allows for a new kind of joy to come in. This past season, I have felt more peace than I've felt in a long time. It's been such a gift and I have been overwhelmed with love and gratitude. I know I'll look back on this season with fondness. If i embrace this new season with gratitude, I'll all be able to do the same.

Part of me felt frustrated because I am tired of feeling uprooted. but I am reminded my home is with Him. I can make wherever I am feel like home if I embrace it. God has never failed me. He has always sent people who love me. He has always stretched and grown me. I think there's a times for everything. Sometimes that's comfort, and sometimes that is discomfort. Both are Good.

For me, it's about trusting his will, and being obedient. Being obedient right now means embracing this change - simply because this is where he's put me for now - and replacing my fear with curiosity. Replacing my resistance with trust and gratitude. 

For everything you gain, you lose something else. For everything you lose, you gain something else. So why not unclench my little fists, and open my hands so He can take away or lay what he wants into them? He is Good. He is worthy of Trust. He is a Father that loves his Children. 
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"Sometimes we forget that God comes to us, not only to give us peace, but also to disturb us. He comforts the afflicted and he afflict the comfortable." - John Powell (Excerpt from the Blue Book by Jim Branch) 
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"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. "

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"Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. 2 Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— 3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s."

seen & unseen

Sometimes we have experiences where it's easy to see the fruit that came out of it. And then we have other seasons or experiences that we feel we can only ask God, "Why did that happen? Where is the fruit in that? Did ANYTHING good come from that?" For years I wondered why a situation happened and saw no good that came from it. Only hurt, and what seemed to be like an absence of healing. My biggest dilemma was the question, "How on earth did this bring you any glory? What was the purpose of you allowing this?"

Sometimes we simply can't see good out of something that was a hard season for us. Just because we don't see the good, doesn't meant that it's not there. A joyful man, who went through some hard things in life, once told me, "It's not what happened, It's how you see it." I am learning that we can choose what we see when we look back.

This past season has been so sweet for me. I have been living in San Marcos and have loved everything about it. I was thinking and looking back on the last few years, and intentionally thinking about what I was grateful for. What I noticed was that I was grateful for things that probably wouldn't even exist if it wasn't for that situation, the people I met then or the hard season a long time ago. Of the jobs I had, people I met, churches I've been a part of, my apartment and roommate, almost all traced back to that one season of life years ago. Sometimes we don't see the good right away. Sometimes it takes a little while for God to allow us to see what he was doing, or the good that can come from any situation. I'm thankful God has opened my eyes a little to take a step back, be grateful, and see all the gifts he's given me - more than I could ever deserve or hope for. It  makes me think of that verse..."20Now to Him who is able to do infinitely more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us,.." I'm also learning to be grateful for those kinds of seasons that seem hard to me, waiting in hope that He will bring glory and beauty, knowing I don't see the full picture of what's happening. He isn't a God of destruction, but a God of Power and strength that brings beauty from ashes.


"There is nothing—no thing, no person, no experience, no thought, no joy or pain—that cannot be harvested and used for nourishment on our journey to God.    What I am suggesting here is that everything in your life is a stepping-stone to holiness if only you recognize that you do have within you the grace to be present to each moment.  Your presence is an energy that you can choose to give or not give.  Every experience, every thought, every word, every person in your life is a part of a larger picture of your growth.  That’s why I call them crumbs.  They are not the whole loaf, but they can be nourishing if you give them your real presence.  Let everything energize you.  Let everything bless you.  Even your limping can bless you." (A Tree Full of Angels by Macrina Wiederkehr)

Chosen

From Ann voskamps blog, "a holy experience" ...

You are wanted when you don’t want to be you.

You are picked when you feel picked apart and glossed over and not good enough.

Your name is called when you’ve had lies in your head for years calling you names.

You are loved when you feel unlovely and unloveable.

You belong as you are — even when you long to be someone else.

You are broken —- and Chosen.

You don’t have to hide your brokenness —- because it doesn’t change your chosenness.

You don’t have to hide your brokenness —- because it doesn’t change your chosenness.

You don’t have to deny your brokenness — because nothing can ever deny you of your chosenness.

You don’t have to fear your brokenness — because there’s nothing that can undo your chosenness.

That is all: You are broken — and Chosen.

There’s nothing to ever fear ever again.

Broken. And Chosen.

The End.

And — the very beginning of everything we’ve ever wanted, this being deeply wanted.

Ulysses

I went to a Josh Garrels concert recently, and it's one of my all time favorites to date. I had been waiting (by waiting i mean DYING) to see him for a few years, but he never seemed to make it from Oregon all the way down to Texas. After class one night, my favorite classmate and I hurried from campus and headed to Austin. His music truly reflects God's heart, and he writes some of the most beautiful words I've heard through song. Before he played his song, Ulysses, he shared these words with us. I finally wrote them down after having them recorded on my phone for a while and wanted to share. I love how God uses people to remind our hearts of things we need to remember.

“Some of the decisions we make can’t be changed  - some things once its broken its tragic, its broken sometimes beyond repair in this life and that’s the truth with some relationships -  and some of  you know what I am talking about – but yet the wonderful thing is that there’s always the possibility of God’s redemption, which is turning something tragic into something beautiful – maybe it’s not restored to what it was – but something good coming from what was meant for evil or something that befell us that we can’t rid ourselves of, but yet there’s the power of redemption and there’s the power of restoration. As long as we have breath in our lungs there is the possibility of return. If we’re continuing on the same route, we have the ability today to decide to turn, and sometimes REturn to the place we know we came , and sometimes there’s a long return, with temptations and perils and sirens and everything else. Sometimes turning around and looking at the wake behind us makes us afraid to turn because that road looks hard, but it’s the only road filled with meaning. We are returning to the one who gives life and who can redeem and restore the things in our life that are truly broken beyond repair and can make something of meaning from it.“ – Josh Garrels

" It's not the existence of these things in our lives that's the problem. It's our anxiety about them that sabotages our lives...We are to seek first the kingdom, and one of the enemy's greatest strategies is to derail you from seeking God's kingdom. How? By filling you with anxiety. Anxiety is a gateway to many other sins".

Texas weather has been a little crazy this summer to say the least. There's been drought as usual and then terrible flooding in our area again, and it's hard to keep up with its moodiness.  A few weeks ago I was sitting out on the back porch reading and watching the rain as it poured down. In the center of the back yard there is a trellace/arch covered in grape vines. For months it was so dry, the vines fried to a crisp and nearly disappeared, leaving only the wooden framework it rested on. It looked like there was no hope for them to come back. After waiting a while I quit paying attention to it as I walked by. As I sat there in the rain that day, I realized the vines I'd felt like I waited an eternity to grow back with no progress, we're so full and green and thick that it looked as if the frame under it would break as the rain poured down on them. I could only think about our lives and sit in thankfulness at this parallel and how God makes everything beautiful in its own time and that each "season" is just that. Only a season. Some short and others little longer. We all have times of drought and abundance. Sometimes our hearts are in despair with the season we are in and other times we just give up because we feel like that tough season of what looks like fruitlessness (is that even a word?), waiting, or healing seems like an eternity. I think I needed the reminder of seeing the overflowing vines that day. Sometimes God has to remind my heart of what I already know in my head. I have so much to be thankful for and am thankful for the season I'm in simply because God has me here. Life ebbs and flows but our faith in Jesus and what he's done doesn't have to. Jesus is the same as he was and always will be, and God brings seasons and their unique beauty according to His will. Just because we think we don't see fruit during a certain season doesn't mean that it's true. Gods ways and the way he sees things are much higher that we see them. I really believe we are always growing, no matter the season we are in when we are seeking the Lord. God makes each season sweet when we are following Him and our obedience is not in vain

He Has Made Everything Beautiful in its Time

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
    he enables me to tread on the heights.

Live Hapalee

I've opened a shop! This is was made to be a creative outlet and to help others. Part of every item purchased will go to the organization of the month. I will be doing mercy ships (shocker!)  for a while since it's only the beginning and sales will need to take some time to build! Here is a link!

From Streams in the Desert April 22:


He knows the way that I take (Job 23:10).

Believer! What a glorious assurance! This way of thine--this, it may be, a crooked, mysterious, tangled way--this way of trial and tears. "He knoweth it." The furnace seven times heated--He lighted it. There is an Almighty Guide knowing and directing our footsteps, whether it be to the bitter Marah pool, or to the joy and refreshment of Elim.

That way, dark to the Egyptians, has its pillar of cloud and fire for His own Israel. The furnace is hot; but not only can we trust the hand that kindles it, but we have the assurance that the fires are lighted not to consume, but to refine; and that when the refining process is completed (no sooner--no later) He brings His people forth as gold. 

When they think Him least near, He is often nearest. "When my spirit was overwhelmed, then thou knewest my path." Do we know of ONE brighter than the brightest radiance of the visible sun, visiting our chamber with the first waking beam of the morning; an eye of infinite tenderness and compassion following us throughout the day, knowing the way that we take?

The world, in its cold vocabulary in the hour of adversity, speaks of "Providence"--"the will of Providence"--"the strokes of Providence." PROVIDENCE! what is that? Why dethrone a living, directing God from the sovereignty of His own earth? Why substitute an inanimate, death-like abstraction, in place of an acting, controlling, personal Jehovah?

How it would take the sting from many a goading trial, to see what Job saw (in his hour of aggravated woe, when every earthly hope lay prostrate at his feet)--no hand but the Divine. He saw that hand behind the gleaming swords of the Sabeans--he saw it behind the lightning flash--he saw it giving wings to the careening tempest--he saw it in the awful silence of his rifled home.

"The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord!" Thus seeing God in everything, his faith reached its climax when this once powerful prince of the desert, seated on his bed of ashes, could say, "Though he slay me, yet will I trust him."
--Macduff

Joyfully.

Sunday evenings we have an informal church service for those of us who can't make it off the ship or to ward service. This past Sunday was an all worship service, which I absolutely loved. As I was standing in the service, I looked over and saw my friend and immediately “Wait joyfully on the Lord” came to me as clear as day. I didn't know if this was for her or me or whoever is reading this or everyone, but there’s something to be said about how we wait on God for the things he’s promised and what he’s shown us. Many times we feel we are waiting on God, but how we wait is so important. I feel like there have been times where I've waited for something in impatience, tears, or with a bad attitude rather than peaceful trust, obedience and joy. So many times in the bible people have waited on God and have chosen to either groan and complain or rejoice and proclaim God’s faithfulness regardless of what they see.

I was in the Ward service last Sunday and there was a guest speaker(from somewhere in Africa) and he grabbed a guitar and sang a simple but beautiful song that went something like, “He will save you, he will save you…you can trust him, just believe him..” So simple but so true. God is so worthy of our trust and our worship through all times and situations.

We have dress ceremonies for our VVF women to celebrate their healing.This condition is common among woman in developing countries after childbirth. Because of inadequate healthcare, these woman are unable to treat this condition and live with it for years. I was able to go to the last two ceremonies. These woman have their procedures and are given beautiful dresses for the ceremony. They give their testimonies of what God has done and tell of the difference it's made to them. Some women quietly told their stories to the translator, while others broke out in song in french or their own local language and danced. It was so beautiful. Each woman told how long they've had this condition, some 4 years, 10 years, and over 20 years. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to wait joyfully on the Lord for their healing. I'm sure some had lost all hope after it seems their prayers hadn't been answered and their loved ones left them. I'm sure they never expected God would answer by sending a big white and blue hospital ship to them. God sometimes surprises us with how he answers us. His way. His timing. 

 Whatever you’re waiting on God for

T r u s t     h i m  +   b e l i e v e   h i m .

He will Save you.

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,  though there are no  sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord,  I will be joyful in God my Savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.    -Hab 3:17-19

Surgery

I was able to observe multiple surgeries up close and personal the other day. I am still in shock at what wonderful work they do and what amazing miracles are done in those rooms. They don't just repair their physical brokenness, and remove disfigurements. In doing these surgeries, they lift spirits and help in repairing hearts.

I met in the OR office with my scrubs on and was taken to my first room. I went to an OR where Dr. Gary was operating on a 6 year old boy who had a cleft pallet. I've never actually seen a cleft pallet in person before coming here, because this is something that's fixed very quickly in the states. Dr. Gary explained to me what he was doing, let me stand right next to him and see what he was working on and kindly explained everything. Many times cleft pallet surgeries are done when they are babies. When they are done later in life this can cause more serious issues. This sweet boy, because he never had surgery, hasn't been able to really speak. Another problem with cleft pallet is the increase of hearing issues. Children have ear problems and infections and things like that, but children with cleft pallet have it much more often, causing loss of hearing over time. They look somewhat disfigured, have speaking problems, slowly go deaf and are pushed further and further out of society. This surgery will change that. Now he'll go through therapy and relearn how to speak and be able to live a better life than before. 

The second room I went into was the eye room. I was able to watch the removal or Ptyerigyums. Ptyerigyums are a growth of pink, fleshy tissue on the white of the eye. It is a noncancerous lesion that usually grows slowly throughout life. A pterygium can continue growing until it covers the pupil of the eye and interferes with vision. The environment here (sun, sand, dust) increase the risk for this to happen. I was about too look under a microscope to cut/sand off (using a tool made from diamonds) the growth, and then cut out tissue from the healthy part of the eye and basically sew it onto the area where the growth had been renewed. This was a relatively short procedure and I was shocked to know the patients are completely awake during this. They just numb the area. The procedures were quick and fascinating to watch. Another common procedure here is cataract removal which is done very quickly. They've even created their own method especially for procedures here on ship that's even quicker than the normal method. People come in blind or nearly blind and leave being able to see. 

The last procedure I was able to see was a tumor removal. This woman had a mass larger than a grapefruit near her right ear and cheek/jaw line. Again, this is something that would have been removed in the states early on. I came into the room while the  tumor was still attached and watched the removal process. Before I knew it the large mass was removed, sitting on a table, and her cheek was being stitched up. I was amazed that something so large could be removed and repaired in such a short amount of time. I can only image what it would be like for her to wake up and no longer feel the very thing that brought her embarrassment and shame, and for her to look in the mirror and no longer feel it there, and see just herself. Praise God for amazing medical staff to carry these operations out. 

Vincent

Over a month ago my friends and I went to the Grand Marche, which is a huge market with street shops that covers multiple blocks. On our way there we hitched a ride in one of our patient vehicles and inside was a mama with her beautiful baby boy who would soon be getting surgery to repair his cleft lip. He was so adorable and filled with joy and would smile big as we played with him during the car ride. 

Fast forward to two days ago.

 I was outside helping my friend make a dresser for one of the day workers (Congolese who we get to work with on the ship) he's become friends with. His friend just had a baby, so he made a dresser out of old crates on the dock and stained the wood beautifully so there is a place for the baby's clothes and things. I like to think I helped out a lot, but really I just sanded some of the wood, ate snacks, got hyped up on mountain dew, and played with a couple of the patients who were outside getting their daily outing/fresh air on deck seven. I was standing out there and looked over and saw a nurse holding a baby who was all tubed up..and then I realized it was little Vincent! The British nurse asked me if i "wanted a cuddle" and I quickly took him and marveled at the wonderfully closed up lip he had. Vincent was all stitched up, smiling and looked absolutely perfect. It was wonderful to be able to see a patient before and after surgery. Many times I see them walked out after surgery all patched up or under the tents waiting to be seen, so it was a real gift to see things from beginning to end. 
I went to the Ward service again this morning and I hope that’s what heaven sounds like. I love the way African Worship is. I love the clapping. I love the dancing. I love the beautiful voices singing. I love the freedom they seem to have. At one point I looked at a woman singing and realized it was Vincent’s mom rejoicing with her eyes closed. I wondered what might be going through her head. I could only imagine what a happy heart she had in that moment that her baby was healed and happy and God made a way.

Before Surgery

One Monthaversary

I can't believe it's already been a whole month since I left to come here. Boy does time fly! I was told that the "honeymoon phase" of being here wears off after 2 weeks, but I am still in awe and so thankful I am here. I feel so much joy and peace in serving onboard and I have absolutely loved every moment. Our days are filled with laughter, and I really enjoy daily life here. I survived my first weekend being on duty by myself which consisted of welcoming 20 or so new crew members, getting their rooms ready, delivering cookies for newcomers and birthdays, and giving tours. It went more smoothly than I could have imagined. (It also helps that I have a wonderful supervisor). I have also loved taking part in mercy ministries, going back to the baby center, the school for the deaf, and the Jesus Films.

  

 The other day we went to school for the deaf and came during one of their class periods to teach an art class. I wasn't sure what to expect since it was my first time going to a deaf school but I really enjoyed it. They all waved and smiled as we walked in and gasped and giggled as on of the guys walked in. He's 6'7 so they were a bit excited about it. We passed out all the materials and each of us found a seat with the kids. A person may not be able to hear or speak, but you can't stop laughter. I sat next to a young girl and she giggled as I came to sit with her. I wish she could hear how sweet and pretty her laugh is. We did a warm up exercise (the macarena) before we started the lesson and afterward everyone put them up on the walls so we could see what the class created. Luckily they use American sign language so I was able to sign my name and meet a few of the girls. such a fun day.

                    

                                     


 A few nights ago I went to help with the Jesus film. We drove out to a fisherman's village and put a projector in the back of the land rover, added some poles, white screen material, some chairs and voila, movie night! We turned the music up loud and people began to gather and sit. The video that was shown went briefly through creation of the world and the old testament, and the majority was on Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. They show this video, and the following times they come there are discipleship videos that are tailored to the african culture. They come to each village at least 3 times to play all the videos and a local pastor hosted it/spoke. I watched the movie with two little girls from the village in my lap. maybe 3 and 5 years old. The littlest one curled up and fell asleep and the older one watched the movie closely for quite a while. As they played the movie, I love that the crowd hooped and hollered and applauded as Jesus performed all of the miracles, and many came to the front to accept Christ after watching this movie. I'm so thankful we can use this technology to spread the story of Christ. Another sweet moment was with one of the little girls sitting in my lap. This will sound funny to most I am sure, but at one point the little girl looked at me and then looked up in awe and pointed toward the sky and I looked up and saw she was looking straight at the moon, and then she just waved at the moon and then put her head back down on me again. Something my sweet mom has always said is no matter where we are we're not too far away from each other because we both are looking at the same moon. In that moment I felt so comforted and felt close to my loved ones. I also think about Jesus' love and how it's universal. How the same Son saves us all if we accept him. We may have our own cultural things, but when it comes down to it, God's love can come into any heart no matter where you are or where you come from and unifies us to each other. It's just like my home here. All of us are from everywhere and Jesus brings us together into one place and desire for service because he draw us all closer to His heart. I love God's love.

This past week has included quite a bit of fun and relaxation. After work a new friend took me out to dinner on his motorcycle, and the place we went to looked just like my favorite restaurant back home. I was just telling my roommate earlier that day how much I missed my favorite hole-in-the-wall place in Texas. Even though I've been off the ship several times, going that evening felt like the first time I was just out with a friend living a normal life. It's funny the things that comfort me and remind me of home while I am here. We also celebrated Valentine's here mildly on the ship. Me and the hospitality girls had a V-day/goodbye party for one of our fellow hostesses who was leaving. We made valentine's cards for all my roomies and coworkers, and I made heart cookies for us to decorate while we watched a movie. [We also made a valentine for the Gurkas(Nepalese Guards here) and gave them our heart cookies. Everyone here loves the gurkas. Tonight I was throwing a football out on the dock with one of my guy friends and I taught one of the guards how to throw a spiral. haha. They are so friendly and somehow remember all of our names.] We have also been watching the Olympics here on board! It puts a whole new spin on things when you're watching with an audience from all over the world. This week we have 33 different nationalities on board.

 Before I came here I asked God if he'd send me someone who would sort of be a mentor/mother and take me in while I was here. I felt kid of silly asking but I already knew I'd miss seeing my mother everyday and also would really miss my friend/mentor Abbie while I was here. So God answered that prayer in the Paris airport on my way to the ship with a sweet soul named Marlene. Her husband was an anesthesiologist here on the ship for a month and she would serve as a hostess with me. When I first met her she was so kind, and let me know what to expect (she's been 5 times before) when I got there, and I ended up getting put next to her on the plane ride there. She continued to be kind, loving and patient with me throughout the month she was here, helped me practice my tours, answered all my questions, laughed with me when I'd joking call her Mama Marlene, and always encouraged us girls. I really feel so loved and held by God, one reason being the people he has placed in my life. God really gave me a gift my first month here by letting our paths collide. Although it was only a month, I am glad I stopped to realize how blessed I was while she was here. Life and relationships are a gift, and the seasons in which He brings those relationships are a blessing and a joy. Some people here may not want to get close to people because they know they will leave eventually, but I've decided just the gift of knowing them and loving freely is worth it, even if the goodbyes are really as painful as last night's was. It's a much greater loss to put walls up and never have the pleasure of knowing them at all.

photocred katie:  Saying bye to sweet Marlene 

  

 

Baby crèche

Mercy ships has a program called mercy ministries where they come alongside other ministries during their field service in each country. Every week you can sign up to go and serve at each of these ministries in your free time. One of the ministries they have come alongside of is called baby crèche. This is a center for babies who have been abandoned, parents can't take care of them, or their mother is in jail. After driving for a ways we arrived and walked in. There are other ministries in this same place so when we walked in, there we a ton of women in beautifully bright colored Africa dresses all dancing in the open middle courtyard type area and all cheered "hheeeeyyy!!" (Or sounded like it) with excitement as we walked in. We walked along the side and into a small room where 11 or so babies were. I think they were from newborn to 1.5 or 2 years old. As soon as I walked in I locked eyes with one little one and he immediately came running up with just a smile and a diaper on and his arms out ready to be held. This one came running, but many of the babies there were not able to walk. It was hard but a blessing to get to hold them and play with them. I absolutely love hugs by my family and friends and lately I've missed being hugged since I've been here. Then I thought about these sweet little ones and how much they desire (and are worthy of) love and just want and need to be held. My first hug here was from the sweet baby who ran up to me. It was a wonderful experience and a difficult one. They are behind in their development, many malnourished, unable to walk yet with weak legs and little back strength. Two of them were probably a year old and hadn't been named yet. I was holding one little girl and could feel her weakness and her inability to hold her back straight. She just stared up at as I held her and sang yes Jesus loves me with Marlene who held a 19 month old who looks like an infant weighing ten pounds. I wish I could just end their troubles, give them all a forever home, and a secure future. I'm not sure what to think about it all and I may not be able to fix everything that's wrong in the world, but I can love as best as I can and hold one baby (or two) at a time that needs love. I am thankful this center exists and the baby's have been put on a feeding program, gaining weight and are getting stronger. I am praying for their future, that they will come to know Jesus' love and will grow stronger and healthier. I ask that you please pray for the children here. I've posted a couple pictures that someone took while we were there. 

Love

Hannah

Hellos and goodbyes

Disclaimer: My entries are going to be a bit scattered from now on because there are too many things to say. 

Something that I may never get used to here is having people leave as quickly as they come in. We are saying goodbye to my roommate Giselle (future doctor from Argentina) this week and also to my coworker Wolke (Actress from Germany). [These are just two. Tomorrow there are at least 9 leaving and 15 or so coming in on Sunday.] I will miss Giselle's sweet smile and Wolke's laughter and demonstrations on how to exercise on our hospitality desk haha. I've got one roommate leaving and two more have just come in in the last two days. Our cabin has one spot left and will be full for a few months. Everyone is basically new here so everyone makes friends quickly. This last weekend some of us went to the beach to celebrate Giselle's time here  and it was my first time to really get off the ship and go out into town. (The only other time I went off before that was to see all the fish that the fishermen next to us brought in..huuuuggee fish, stingrays, eels and jumbo shrimp. ) Saturday night we jumped in the land rovers and drove to the beach and had a bonfire and danced and sang and some of the guys brought guitars and a djembe drumb and sang worship songs in English and French?..I'm not quite sure haha. The locals would stop by every so often and hang around to see what we were doing. It was a great way to worship, say goodbye to Giselle and pray over her next season of life back home. So much fun. I was helping Giselle pack last night and her luggage had to be less than 24 kilos for the airline and was slightly over so she was weeding things out. She handed me a skirt, and also some medicine saying in her Spanish accent, "here you can think of me when you get the diarrhea." Oh how I will miss her. 

On Sundays we can go to local churches in the mornings, the ward service, or an informal service Sunday evenings depending on when you're available. I went to the ward service this past Sunday and was able to worship with all of the surgery patients on board. I went down to the hospital and was able to sit among the patients with their casts, tubes, and bandages and hear a message both in English and French and listen to wonderful music all in French. They may be in bandages but boy can they really get with it and dance! It was so great to see the life in that small room packed with people. It was more of a traditional African, loud, wonderful service full of dancing, clapping, and singing their hearts out to our great God. There are so many beautiful small moments on this ship that I just want to really take in and keep in my memory forever. That was one of them. They know the reason mercy ships is here is because of Jesus' love and I believe that's the most important thing. 

When we embark new crew and give them a tour we take them all over the ship including the hospital down below. My favorite part of the tour is this simple bench that sits next to the Operating room entrance. 

This bench is an old bench from one of the previous ships called the Anastasis. This is my favorite place on the ship because every patient sits here and is prayed over before they go into their surgery. Most of these patients haven't been to the doctor's office, hospital, or a ship like this. Some have never seen a white person. They have to walk up over 40 steps to come onto the ship and then through reception to come back down more stairs to get into the hospital before going to their hospital room.The whole experience can be a bit overwhelming and a lot to take in all at once. This bench, to me, brings comfort, and being prayed over let's them know of God's love and protection over their lives as they go into surgery and is a reminder why mercy ships does what it does, and all the wonderful work/restoration/healing that's come through here. 

On a completely different note, part of my job is baking for the new crew and guests. We have a whole book of recipes and the ones I've tried and tweaked so far have turned out great. I tried out a new recipe called Congo bars someone before me left in the book. I went with two of my roomates to the kitchen we were storing it in, pulled it out and cut the bars up to taste test them to see if they were edible for the business meeting coming up. I wasn't sure what they were supposd to be like since I've never made them and there was no picture. One of the guys from the galley came in to see what we were doing and I asked him to try it for me. He started eating it and held his throat and looked like he really needed some water to choke it down. I was laughing so hard I was in pain. I've never had someone reacting to my baking in that way before. He then proceeded to tell us it was like eating really great tasting sand. The oven I used is much hotter than the ones I'm used to using so maybe next time I won't cook it as long. We decided they would be really great with coffee and we don't waste food here...So we renamed them Congo biscotti. 

On a Boat

             

It's almost been one week here but it feels like much longer. I feel like I've packed quite a bit into a short amount of time, and I feel at home here already. This has all been a bit of a whirlwind, and I'm not sure where to begin. After the long flights from San Antonio to Atlanta, Georgia to Paris(where I met fellow mercy shippers and also got free French  macarons from a bakery simply because I was the only person who smiled at her that day) and then to the Republic of Congo, we got picked up and taken to the port where the Africa Mercy is currently docked. We got out of the vehicles and I finally got to walk up the mercy ships steps where numerous volunteers and patients have walked up over the years to take part in being an example of Jesus by serving the people here and where they've been before. This past week I've been able to meet some of the most wonderful people from all over the world who have hearts to serve wherever needed. I live in a ten person cabin with girls who are from Argentina, Canada, Australia, Switzerland, and the States who are nurses, a dental assistant, plumber/reception, galley crew, hospitality hostesses and sales here on the ship. What I love here is that all are a part of one body and no job is more important than another, because we couldn't really have one without the other. Whether it's the surgeons or the men working down in the engine room all day to keep the ship operating smoothly, everyone is a vital part of this mission. I enjoy being on the hospitality team and getting to see all the faces that come through. New people come every week to serve here, and I love that we are able to be the first faces the crew sees and welcome them into their time here. I am getting the hang of things, learning and doing job duties, getting lost and then pointed in the right direction again by nice people onboard(this ship is biggg), taking french classes, singing up for mercy ministries like the Ngayo orphanage and Baby creche, and really enjoying the way everyone loves each other so well here. I feel like this is the way the body of Christ is supposed to be. I have witnessed so much laughter, close-knit community, hearts of service, and people giving freely of their things to one another and serving others together. I've been walking around during work and been able to see the patients and today saw a few sweet little girls after their surgery, one of whom had a hot pink cast on her chest and arm that made her arm stay up who said hello and hi fived me with her free arm and another who laughed and asked my name as she was going by in her crunches after leg surgery as if she had no care in the world and a happy heart, and I've seen many people come up from cataract surgeries and been able to hear really interesting stories from the doctors and dentists. I am getting used to hearing lots and los of french on the ship. Our working language for all the crew is English, but the day workers/congolese who come here mainly speak french, as do many of our regular crew. I hope to learn more french quickly. We've had great worship services and inspirational guest speakers from Ghana and the states. Wess Stafford from compassion international came to visit his daughter who is a teacher here and spoke during our community gathering night. He had me in tears and I want to share his message. I will try to attach the audio below if I am able. By being here, I'm more and more aware of how God has grown me these last few years in ways I didn't realize, how blessed I am, and proved to me that a man can make plans but God has the final say and it's in His timing not my own. I'm thankful for the path God's taken me on, and I trust the one ahead. We can have ideas and presumptions but I know it will always be different (and better) than whatever I may be thinking. God surprises us and shows us things about ourselves and Him that we never expected. I'm excited to see what lies ahead this year. I'll try and post more photos and let everyone know what's happening here.

 I love y'all. If you need to get in touch send me an email at Hannahk7@live.com. 

Love

Hannah

Dr. Stafford Speaking at our Community Gathering - <--- click="" here="" his="" listen="" message="" p="" to="">

 Also, because of privacy of patients and people at our ministry sights, I'm not able to take many photos, but we will have a photographer at each site so I'll try and post some of those soon too :]

                              

                                                                 

Ready to Go

I feel so blessed with all of the people God has surrounded me with my entire life, especially these past few years. I see His hand in all of it and am thankful for the relationships he's put in my life. I am leaving for my trip Friday afternoon. I am so excited but I have a hard time saying goodbyes even if they are just temporary. This last week has been very filled with to-do lists, last minute prepping, packing, and most importantly spending time with my loved ones. I am shocked at the outpour of love I have received from everyone, and I am so grateful. It has made the temporary goodbyes so sweet and filled with love. I've been prayed over, taken out to lunches, hugged a lot, helped my newly engaged friend make bridemaid invites, fed the homeless with my girls for the last time, was taken to a worship concert with two guy friends, had people be generous and make sure I am taken care of while I'm gone, talked to my grandma and laughed up a storm, received the sweetest letters from my high school girls and my best friends, and have been filled to the brim by others' words of encouragement. I am so thankful to everyone who has been an encourager in my life and supported me by prayer or donations for this next chapter. I will miss my friends, students, ministries and family here in Texas, but as my friend and mentor Abbie told me the other day, "There is nothing greater than furthering the kingdom. Nothing." I am so excited to spend the first half of 2014 in Africa and serve Jesus as we serve the forgotten poor. 

Joe snapped a photo of the the students in our ministry praying over me.

     

 

Feeding the homeless with my Girls and Christy,. Love love love them.