Surgery

I was able to observe multiple surgeries up close and personal the other day. I am still in shock at what wonderful work they do and what amazing miracles are done in those rooms. They don't just repair their physical brokenness, and remove disfigurements. In doing these surgeries, they lift spirits and help in repairing hearts.

I met in the OR office with my scrubs on and was taken to my first room. I went to an OR where Dr. Gary was operating on a 6 year old boy who had a cleft pallet. I've never actually seen a cleft pallet in person before coming here, because this is something that's fixed very quickly in the states. Dr. Gary explained to me what he was doing, let me stand right next to him and see what he was working on and kindly explained everything. Many times cleft pallet surgeries are done when they are babies. When they are done later in life this can cause more serious issues. This sweet boy, because he never had surgery, hasn't been able to really speak. Another problem with cleft pallet is the increase of hearing issues. Children have ear problems and infections and things like that, but children with cleft pallet have it much more often, causing loss of hearing over time. They look somewhat disfigured, have speaking problems, slowly go deaf and are pushed further and further out of society. This surgery will change that. Now he'll go through therapy and relearn how to speak and be able to live a better life than before. 

The second room I went into was the eye room. I was able to watch the removal or Ptyerigyums. Ptyerigyums are a growth of pink, fleshy tissue on the white of the eye. It is a noncancerous lesion that usually grows slowly throughout life. A pterygium can continue growing until it covers the pupil of the eye and interferes with vision. The environment here (sun, sand, dust) increase the risk for this to happen. I was about too look under a microscope to cut/sand off (using a tool made from diamonds) the growth, and then cut out tissue from the healthy part of the eye and basically sew it onto the area where the growth had been renewed. This was a relatively short procedure and I was shocked to know the patients are completely awake during this. They just numb the area. The procedures were quick and fascinating to watch. Another common procedure here is cataract removal which is done very quickly. They've even created their own method especially for procedures here on ship that's even quicker than the normal method. People come in blind or nearly blind and leave being able to see. 

The last procedure I was able to see was a tumor removal. This woman had a mass larger than a grapefruit near her right ear and cheek/jaw line. Again, this is something that would have been removed in the states early on. I came into the room while the  tumor was still attached and watched the removal process. Before I knew it the large mass was removed, sitting on a table, and her cheek was being stitched up. I was amazed that something so large could be removed and repaired in such a short amount of time. I can only image what it would be like for her to wake up and no longer feel the very thing that brought her embarrassment and shame, and for her to look in the mirror and no longer feel it there, and see just herself. Praise God for amazing medical staff to carry these operations out. 

Vincent

Over a month ago my friends and I went to the Grand Marche, which is a huge market with street shops that covers multiple blocks. On our way there we hitched a ride in one of our patient vehicles and inside was a mama with her beautiful baby boy who would soon be getting surgery to repair his cleft lip. He was so adorable and filled with joy and would smile big as we played with him during the car ride. 

Fast forward to two days ago.

 I was outside helping my friend make a dresser for one of the day workers (Congolese who we get to work with on the ship) he's become friends with. His friend just had a baby, so he made a dresser out of old crates on the dock and stained the wood beautifully so there is a place for the baby's clothes and things. I like to think I helped out a lot, but really I just sanded some of the wood, ate snacks, got hyped up on mountain dew, and played with a couple of the patients who were outside getting their daily outing/fresh air on deck seven. I was standing out there and looked over and saw a nurse holding a baby who was all tubed up..and then I realized it was little Vincent! The British nurse asked me if i "wanted a cuddle" and I quickly took him and marveled at the wonderfully closed up lip he had. Vincent was all stitched up, smiling and looked absolutely perfect. It was wonderful to be able to see a patient before and after surgery. Many times I see them walked out after surgery all patched up or under the tents waiting to be seen, so it was a real gift to see things from beginning to end. 
I went to the Ward service again this morning and I hope that’s what heaven sounds like. I love the way African Worship is. I love the clapping. I love the dancing. I love the beautiful voices singing. I love the freedom they seem to have. At one point I looked at a woman singing and realized it was Vincent’s mom rejoicing with her eyes closed. I wondered what might be going through her head. I could only imagine what a happy heart she had in that moment that her baby was healed and happy and God made a way.

Before Surgery

One Monthaversary

I can't believe it's already been a whole month since I left to come here. Boy does time fly! I was told that the "honeymoon phase" of being here wears off after 2 weeks, but I am still in awe and so thankful I am here. I feel so much joy and peace in serving onboard and I have absolutely loved every moment. Our days are filled with laughter, and I really enjoy daily life here. I survived my first weekend being on duty by myself which consisted of welcoming 20 or so new crew members, getting their rooms ready, delivering cookies for newcomers and birthdays, and giving tours. It went more smoothly than I could have imagined. (It also helps that I have a wonderful supervisor). I have also loved taking part in mercy ministries, going back to the baby center, the school for the deaf, and the Jesus Films.

  

 The other day we went to school for the deaf and came during one of their class periods to teach an art class. I wasn't sure what to expect since it was my first time going to a deaf school but I really enjoyed it. They all waved and smiled as we walked in and gasped and giggled as on of the guys walked in. He's 6'7 so they were a bit excited about it. We passed out all the materials and each of us found a seat with the kids. A person may not be able to hear or speak, but you can't stop laughter. I sat next to a young girl and she giggled as I came to sit with her. I wish she could hear how sweet and pretty her laugh is. We did a warm up exercise (the macarena) before we started the lesson and afterward everyone put them up on the walls so we could see what the class created. Luckily they use American sign language so I was able to sign my name and meet a few of the girls. such a fun day.

                    

                                     


 A few nights ago I went to help with the Jesus film. We drove out to a fisherman's village and put a projector in the back of the land rover, added some poles, white screen material, some chairs and voila, movie night! We turned the music up loud and people began to gather and sit. The video that was shown went briefly through creation of the world and the old testament, and the majority was on Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. They show this video, and the following times they come there are discipleship videos that are tailored to the african culture. They come to each village at least 3 times to play all the videos and a local pastor hosted it/spoke. I watched the movie with two little girls from the village in my lap. maybe 3 and 5 years old. The littlest one curled up and fell asleep and the older one watched the movie closely for quite a while. As they played the movie, I love that the crowd hooped and hollered and applauded as Jesus performed all of the miracles, and many came to the front to accept Christ after watching this movie. I'm so thankful we can use this technology to spread the story of Christ. Another sweet moment was with one of the little girls sitting in my lap. This will sound funny to most I am sure, but at one point the little girl looked at me and then looked up in awe and pointed toward the sky and I looked up and saw she was looking straight at the moon, and then she just waved at the moon and then put her head back down on me again. Something my sweet mom has always said is no matter where we are we're not too far away from each other because we both are looking at the same moon. In that moment I felt so comforted and felt close to my loved ones. I also think about Jesus' love and how it's universal. How the same Son saves us all if we accept him. We may have our own cultural things, but when it comes down to it, God's love can come into any heart no matter where you are or where you come from and unifies us to each other. It's just like my home here. All of us are from everywhere and Jesus brings us together into one place and desire for service because he draw us all closer to His heart. I love God's love.

This past week has included quite a bit of fun and relaxation. After work a new friend took me out to dinner on his motorcycle, and the place we went to looked just like my favorite restaurant back home. I was just telling my roommate earlier that day how much I missed my favorite hole-in-the-wall place in Texas. Even though I've been off the ship several times, going that evening felt like the first time I was just out with a friend living a normal life. It's funny the things that comfort me and remind me of home while I am here. We also celebrated Valentine's here mildly on the ship. Me and the hospitality girls had a V-day/goodbye party for one of our fellow hostesses who was leaving. We made valentine's cards for all my roomies and coworkers, and I made heart cookies for us to decorate while we watched a movie. [We also made a valentine for the Gurkas(Nepalese Guards here) and gave them our heart cookies. Everyone here loves the gurkas. Tonight I was throwing a football out on the dock with one of my guy friends and I taught one of the guards how to throw a spiral. haha. They are so friendly and somehow remember all of our names.] We have also been watching the Olympics here on board! It puts a whole new spin on things when you're watching with an audience from all over the world. This week we have 33 different nationalities on board.

 Before I came here I asked God if he'd send me someone who would sort of be a mentor/mother and take me in while I was here. I felt kid of silly asking but I already knew I'd miss seeing my mother everyday and also would really miss my friend/mentor Abbie while I was here. So God answered that prayer in the Paris airport on my way to the ship with a sweet soul named Marlene. Her husband was an anesthesiologist here on the ship for a month and she would serve as a hostess with me. When I first met her she was so kind, and let me know what to expect (she's been 5 times before) when I got there, and I ended up getting put next to her on the plane ride there. She continued to be kind, loving and patient with me throughout the month she was here, helped me practice my tours, answered all my questions, laughed with me when I'd joking call her Mama Marlene, and always encouraged us girls. I really feel so loved and held by God, one reason being the people he has placed in my life. God really gave me a gift my first month here by letting our paths collide. Although it was only a month, I am glad I stopped to realize how blessed I was while she was here. Life and relationships are a gift, and the seasons in which He brings those relationships are a blessing and a joy. Some people here may not want to get close to people because they know they will leave eventually, but I've decided just the gift of knowing them and loving freely is worth it, even if the goodbyes are really as painful as last night's was. It's a much greater loss to put walls up and never have the pleasure of knowing them at all.

photocred katie:  Saying bye to sweet Marlene 

  

 

Baby crèche

Mercy ships has a program called mercy ministries where they come alongside other ministries during their field service in each country. Every week you can sign up to go and serve at each of these ministries in your free time. One of the ministries they have come alongside of is called baby crèche. This is a center for babies who have been abandoned, parents can't take care of them, or their mother is in jail. After driving for a ways we arrived and walked in. There are other ministries in this same place so when we walked in, there we a ton of women in beautifully bright colored Africa dresses all dancing in the open middle courtyard type area and all cheered "hheeeeyyy!!" (Or sounded like it) with excitement as we walked in. We walked along the side and into a small room where 11 or so babies were. I think they were from newborn to 1.5 or 2 years old. As soon as I walked in I locked eyes with one little one and he immediately came running up with just a smile and a diaper on and his arms out ready to be held. This one came running, but many of the babies there were not able to walk. It was hard but a blessing to get to hold them and play with them. I absolutely love hugs by my family and friends and lately I've missed being hugged since I've been here. Then I thought about these sweet little ones and how much they desire (and are worthy of) love and just want and need to be held. My first hug here was from the sweet baby who ran up to me. It was a wonderful experience and a difficult one. They are behind in their development, many malnourished, unable to walk yet with weak legs and little back strength. Two of them were probably a year old and hadn't been named yet. I was holding one little girl and could feel her weakness and her inability to hold her back straight. She just stared up at as I held her and sang yes Jesus loves me with Marlene who held a 19 month old who looks like an infant weighing ten pounds. I wish I could just end their troubles, give them all a forever home, and a secure future. I'm not sure what to think about it all and I may not be able to fix everything that's wrong in the world, but I can love as best as I can and hold one baby (or two) at a time that needs love. I am thankful this center exists and the baby's have been put on a feeding program, gaining weight and are getting stronger. I am praying for their future, that they will come to know Jesus' love and will grow stronger and healthier. I ask that you please pray for the children here. I've posted a couple pictures that someone took while we were there. 

Love

Hannah

Hellos and goodbyes

Disclaimer: My entries are going to be a bit scattered from now on because there are too many things to say. 

Something that I may never get used to here is having people leave as quickly as they come in. We are saying goodbye to my roommate Giselle (future doctor from Argentina) this week and also to my coworker Wolke (Actress from Germany). [These are just two. Tomorrow there are at least 9 leaving and 15 or so coming in on Sunday.] I will miss Giselle's sweet smile and Wolke's laughter and demonstrations on how to exercise on our hospitality desk haha. I've got one roommate leaving and two more have just come in in the last two days. Our cabin has one spot left and will be full for a few months. Everyone is basically new here so everyone makes friends quickly. This last weekend some of us went to the beach to celebrate Giselle's time here  and it was my first time to really get off the ship and go out into town. (The only other time I went off before that was to see all the fish that the fishermen next to us brought in..huuuuggee fish, stingrays, eels and jumbo shrimp. ) Saturday night we jumped in the land rovers and drove to the beach and had a bonfire and danced and sang and some of the guys brought guitars and a djembe drumb and sang worship songs in English and French?..I'm not quite sure haha. The locals would stop by every so often and hang around to see what we were doing. It was a great way to worship, say goodbye to Giselle and pray over her next season of life back home. So much fun. I was helping Giselle pack last night and her luggage had to be less than 24 kilos for the airline and was slightly over so she was weeding things out. She handed me a skirt, and also some medicine saying in her Spanish accent, "here you can think of me when you get the diarrhea." Oh how I will miss her. 

On Sundays we can go to local churches in the mornings, the ward service, or an informal service Sunday evenings depending on when you're available. I went to the ward service this past Sunday and was able to worship with all of the surgery patients on board. I went down to the hospital and was able to sit among the patients with their casts, tubes, and bandages and hear a message both in English and French and listen to wonderful music all in French. They may be in bandages but boy can they really get with it and dance! It was so great to see the life in that small room packed with people. It was more of a traditional African, loud, wonderful service full of dancing, clapping, and singing their hearts out to our great God. There are so many beautiful small moments on this ship that I just want to really take in and keep in my memory forever. That was one of them. They know the reason mercy ships is here is because of Jesus' love and I believe that's the most important thing. 

When we embark new crew and give them a tour we take them all over the ship including the hospital down below. My favorite part of the tour is this simple bench that sits next to the Operating room entrance. 

This bench is an old bench from one of the previous ships called the Anastasis. This is my favorite place on the ship because every patient sits here and is prayed over before they go into their surgery. Most of these patients haven't been to the doctor's office, hospital, or a ship like this. Some have never seen a white person. They have to walk up over 40 steps to come onto the ship and then through reception to come back down more stairs to get into the hospital before going to their hospital room.The whole experience can be a bit overwhelming and a lot to take in all at once. This bench, to me, brings comfort, and being prayed over let's them know of God's love and protection over their lives as they go into surgery and is a reminder why mercy ships does what it does, and all the wonderful work/restoration/healing that's come through here. 

On a completely different note, part of my job is baking for the new crew and guests. We have a whole book of recipes and the ones I've tried and tweaked so far have turned out great. I tried out a new recipe called Congo bars someone before me left in the book. I went with two of my roomates to the kitchen we were storing it in, pulled it out and cut the bars up to taste test them to see if they were edible for the business meeting coming up. I wasn't sure what they were supposd to be like since I've never made them and there was no picture. One of the guys from the galley came in to see what we were doing and I asked him to try it for me. He started eating it and held his throat and looked like he really needed some water to choke it down. I was laughing so hard I was in pain. I've never had someone reacting to my baking in that way before. He then proceeded to tell us it was like eating really great tasting sand. The oven I used is much hotter than the ones I'm used to using so maybe next time I won't cook it as long. We decided they would be really great with coffee and we don't waste food here...So we renamed them Congo biscotti. 

On a Boat

             

It's almost been one week here but it feels like much longer. I feel like I've packed quite a bit into a short amount of time, and I feel at home here already. This has all been a bit of a whirlwind, and I'm not sure where to begin. After the long flights from San Antonio to Atlanta, Georgia to Paris(where I met fellow mercy shippers and also got free French  macarons from a bakery simply because I was the only person who smiled at her that day) and then to the Republic of Congo, we got picked up and taken to the port where the Africa Mercy is currently docked. We got out of the vehicles and I finally got to walk up the mercy ships steps where numerous volunteers and patients have walked up over the years to take part in being an example of Jesus by serving the people here and where they've been before. This past week I've been able to meet some of the most wonderful people from all over the world who have hearts to serve wherever needed. I live in a ten person cabin with girls who are from Argentina, Canada, Australia, Switzerland, and the States who are nurses, a dental assistant, plumber/reception, galley crew, hospitality hostesses and sales here on the ship. What I love here is that all are a part of one body and no job is more important than another, because we couldn't really have one without the other. Whether it's the surgeons or the men working down in the engine room all day to keep the ship operating smoothly, everyone is a vital part of this mission. I enjoy being on the hospitality team and getting to see all the faces that come through. New people come every week to serve here, and I love that we are able to be the first faces the crew sees and welcome them into their time here. I am getting the hang of things, learning and doing job duties, getting lost and then pointed in the right direction again by nice people onboard(this ship is biggg), taking french classes, singing up for mercy ministries like the Ngayo orphanage and Baby creche, and really enjoying the way everyone loves each other so well here. I feel like this is the way the body of Christ is supposed to be. I have witnessed so much laughter, close-knit community, hearts of service, and people giving freely of their things to one another and serving others together. I've been walking around during work and been able to see the patients and today saw a few sweet little girls after their surgery, one of whom had a hot pink cast on her chest and arm that made her arm stay up who said hello and hi fived me with her free arm and another who laughed and asked my name as she was going by in her crunches after leg surgery as if she had no care in the world and a happy heart, and I've seen many people come up from cataract surgeries and been able to hear really interesting stories from the doctors and dentists. I am getting used to hearing lots and los of french on the ship. Our working language for all the crew is English, but the day workers/congolese who come here mainly speak french, as do many of our regular crew. I hope to learn more french quickly. We've had great worship services and inspirational guest speakers from Ghana and the states. Wess Stafford from compassion international came to visit his daughter who is a teacher here and spoke during our community gathering night. He had me in tears and I want to share his message. I will try to attach the audio below if I am able. By being here, I'm more and more aware of how God has grown me these last few years in ways I didn't realize, how blessed I am, and proved to me that a man can make plans but God has the final say and it's in His timing not my own. I'm thankful for the path God's taken me on, and I trust the one ahead. We can have ideas and presumptions but I know it will always be different (and better) than whatever I may be thinking. God surprises us and shows us things about ourselves and Him that we never expected. I'm excited to see what lies ahead this year. I'll try and post more photos and let everyone know what's happening here.

 I love y'all. If you need to get in touch send me an email at Hannahk7@live.com. 

Love

Hannah

Dr. Stafford Speaking at our Community Gathering - <--- click="" here="" his="" listen="" message="" p="" to="">

 Also, because of privacy of patients and people at our ministry sights, I'm not able to take many photos, but we will have a photographer at each site so I'll try and post some of those soon too :]

                              

                                                                 

Ready to Go

I feel so blessed with all of the people God has surrounded me with my entire life, especially these past few years. I see His hand in all of it and am thankful for the relationships he's put in my life. I am leaving for my trip Friday afternoon. I am so excited but I have a hard time saying goodbyes even if they are just temporary. This last week has been very filled with to-do lists, last minute prepping, packing, and most importantly spending time with my loved ones. I am shocked at the outpour of love I have received from everyone, and I am so grateful. It has made the temporary goodbyes so sweet and filled with love. I've been prayed over, taken out to lunches, hugged a lot, helped my newly engaged friend make bridemaid invites, fed the homeless with my girls for the last time, was taken to a worship concert with two guy friends, had people be generous and make sure I am taken care of while I'm gone, talked to my grandma and laughed up a storm, received the sweetest letters from my high school girls and my best friends, and have been filled to the brim by others' words of encouragement. I am so thankful to everyone who has been an encourager in my life and supported me by prayer or donations for this next chapter. I will miss my friends, students, ministries and family here in Texas, but as my friend and mentor Abbie told me the other day, "There is nothing greater than furthering the kingdom. Nothing." I am so excited to spend the first half of 2014 in Africa and serve Jesus as we serve the forgotten poor. 

Joe snapped a photo of the the students in our ministry praying over me.

     

 

Feeding the homeless with my Girls and Christy,. Love love love them.

 

  

       

  

 

   

Beloved.

 

 

 

The first time I ever heard this song ["My Beloved" by Kari Job] was my first day of my summer internship at Sonrise Mountain Ranch in Colorado. The other intern, Kaylan, had it playing in her car while we were driving down the mountain into town, and it brought me to tears. That summer I really started to grasp and feel how much God really loved me and that he not only notices us, but I learned how important our lives are to Him and how deep he cares for each of us. Such a beautiful, sweet song about God's love for us.

 

 

J e s u s .

This morning Christy and I loaded our cars with our high school girls and headed downtown to go to help feed the hungry. We made breakfast casseroles, flipped pancakes, and were blessed to be able to serve tons of fruit! They don't always get to have fruit available, but this week we had bananas, pears, apples and watermelon. This particular place has food, a clinic, an art table, piano, clothes AND showers. Every person gets to take a nice shower and then come and get breakfast. Some really great men and women came through the line and showed so much gratitude and some were extremely hilarious and would burst through the door and sing or yell "rock on!" and run out as fast as he came in. One man in particular came through the line, looked up and smiled, and I had to take a step back because he looks so similar to Jesus. I know doing this I come into contact with a large number of men who have beards and longer hair, but this man really looked like what I've always thought Jesus to look like. I've done this for years and this is the first time this has happened. It sounds weird I'm sure. I wondered what if Jesus was really there in the line and what that would be like.I'm  glad I felt that way and was taken back by it because It reminded me this morning that everyone we serve IS serving Him. What immediately came to mind was in Matthew:

³¹ “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. ³² All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³ He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

It was such a wonderful reminder that whatever we do for the least of these brothers and sisters of his, we do for him. It speaks of God's desire for us to care for others and it's Him we are loving and serving. I think this passage is so beautiful. Whatever you do, do for God's glory. Serve those from the love that overflows out of the Love of Jesus. We must care for His children. When we reach out to someone who needs it, our hand is God's hand in that moment.

A soul at rest

I have been studying what it means to be a woman of simplicity. God is showing me what it means to live simply in devotion to God and is giving me a soul at rest through trusting my heavenly father's loving hands. I'm learning how to take off my heavy yoke, lay it at His feet and put on his light and joyful one. It's a blessing to sit in quietness with God, to hear him and be heard. Life has seemed quite busy this past year with struggles, triumphs, miracles, and I'm thankful that God's grace filled it all. What I've loved most recently is the peace that covers everything more than ever before. With trusting God comes a strange inner peace that engulfs all things. I love psalm 131 and the picture it paints of a man who has chosen to have a peace deeply rooted in his soul. 

"My heart is not proud, O Lord,

my eyes are not haughty;

I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.

But I have stilled and quieted my soul;

like a weaned child with its mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord

both now and forevermore." Psalm 131

"His heart is not lifted up; his eyes do not look enviously and hungrily to the heights beyond him; he does not dwell in anxious, wearisome thought on matters which are best left alone; he concentrates his sympathies and his energies on that which demands his attention, and which is productive of good to himself and those around him; he is perfectly contented to be just what God has made him, to go where his Master sends him, to do what is placed in his hands to do. He is so far from thinking of himself essential to the prosperity of the Church and the redemption of the world, that he hopefully, and even confidently, leaves that in the care of the Supreme." E.R. Conder and W. Clarkson

Love

Hannah

Someday my Friend....

I think these lyrics are so sweet

One day you'll feel the sun
Warming your callused skin
The ropes will come undone
No more wars left to win

Someday my dearest friend
Someday though I don't know when
Oooo you will live in peace.

Your battered heart will soar
Your wounds turned into wings
No one will keep the score
You wouldn't care anyway

Someday my dearest friend
Someday though I don't know when
Oooo you will live in peace.

May you see redemption
On this side of heaven
May you see redemption
On this side of heaven
May you see redemption
On this side of heaven
My friend

Someday my dearest friend
Someday though I don't know when
Oooo you will live

Someday my dearest friend
Someday though I don't know when
Oooo you will live in peace

God's Power

God is very faithful and wonderful whether we recognize it or not. The truth is that most of the time we don't. We see His faithfulness in the obvious blessings through the things we see as "good". The things we desire and then receive because they line up with His will... it's easy to see those things as blessings. But God is continually working behind the scenes of all things...both things that we see as good and bad, things unknown to us. Its' like the way a person can give praise because of sunshine, but the reality is that there's a terrible drought...or complain because of the rain even though it's really giving back life to our land, and renewing our water supply.  I see God's goodness many times in hindsight. I don't always know what's going on, but looking back I can sometimes realize why he's done this or that and how it's working for His plan...and that plan is different for every single person, each one beautiful and unique. Sometimes I feel like God gave us fingerprints to remind us that no one is the same and no one's path and purpose is exactly the same. Even identical twins have differing fingerprints. So many times we look at our path and then another's and begin to compare, and I'm happily realizing there is absolutely no sense to it. Each person comes from a one of a kind background, family, heritage, culture, beliefs and all of those things are so special and to be valued. I am looking around me and seeing my friends and loved ones deciding to continue on with school, getting married (tis the season!), having babies or getting engaged...and I am getting on a boat thousand of miles away from home. To me this is feels normal because I've wanted to serve with Mercy Ships for so long. It has been this crazy desire for such a long time that it seems normal, but then it hits me that I am really doing this so I can go and serve and be a part of a greater purpose that loves people in tangible ways, the way Jesus loved us so well. I was thinking about all of this and how its fantastic but crazy to be on a SHIP on a different continent for months, and then look at my hands and it's grooves and prints and realize this is all a part of a plan that God wonderfully made for me to be a part of. Sometimes I look at my hands and  feel small and that the world is so huge and wonder how I could ever make even a small dent. But it's God who made them. And it's God who works through them. and that fact alone holds endless and immeasurable power.

God's power has shown up just through raising support for this. Before I applied to go on Mercy Ships, I was worried about fundraising and if I would be able to get enough money to go or not. All it was was fear and distrust that had no right to be there. The lord showed me verse after verse to trust. I was reading and seeing all of this and felt something I couldn't really explain. It was as if the Lord was saying "Hannah, not only will I provide for you, but you won't have to sent out a single fundraising letter..." This struck me as a little strange because my funding mark was a whopping $0.00 at that point. But I stuck with it, didn't mail any letters out and decided to have a fundraiser sale and relied on others spreading the word about this trip. The generosity poured in from loved ones and unexpected places, and I feel so blessed that the Lord has provided more than I ever expected. What was so wonderful about this is how deeply meaningful he made every small thing. It wasn't just a garage sale, but a coming together of loved ones. My mom, aunt, and grandmother came in town to help. My neighbors brought over their extra things, made baked goods, and were my cheerleaders for the day. I was surrounded by furniture, food, clothes, etc, but to me i was surrounded my so much love. We had so much stuff and only had to have our sale for two days because everything sold. I am so thankful to everyone who came to help, donated their stuff, their time and cheered me on. I am forever grateful. God is a big big God.

All my lovely Helpers! 

From streams in the desert - Oct 23

"Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave. (1 Kings 8:56)

Someday we will understand that God has a reason behind every no He gives us through the course of our lives. Yet even in this life, He always makes it up to us. When God's people are worried and concerned that their prayers are not being answered, how often we have seen Him working to answer them in a far greater way! Occasionally we catch a glimpse of this, but the complete revelation of it will not be seen until later.

If God says yes to our prayer, dear heart,
And the sunlight is golden, the sky is blue,
While the smooth road beckons to me and you,
And songbirds are singing as on we go,
Pausing to pick the flowers at our feet,
Stopping to drink of the streams that we meet,
Happy, more happy, our journey will grow,
If God says yes to our prayer, dear heart.

If God says no to our prayer, dear heart,
And the clouds hang heavy and dull and gray;
If the rough rocks hinder and block the way,
While the sharp winds pierce us and sting with cold;
Yet, dear, there is home at the journey's end,
And these are the trials the Father does send
To draw us as sheep to His Heavenly fold,
If God says no to our prayer, dear heart."

If we only had the faith not to rush into things but to "be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him" - waiting for His full explanation that will not be revealed until Jesus Christ comes again! When has God ever taken anything from a person without restoring it many times over? Yet what are we to think if He does not immediately restore what has been taken? Is today His only day to Work? Does he have any concerns beyond this little world of ours? Can He still work beyond our death or does the door of the grave open to nothing but infinite darkness and eternal silence? Even if we confine our thinking to this life, it is true that God never touches the heart with a trial without intending to bestow a great gift of compassionate blessing.

Who has the glory?

A few months ago, my friend and I went to go feed the hungry and homeless downtown at a place called "Church Under Bridge". We had gone there before, but this specific time I decided we should make sandwiches. I emailed our friend who works there saying "I love cooking in mass quantities! Can I make 200 sandwiches!?" I've seen it done quickly at the normal place I helped at every weekend and figured it would go by quickly...boy was I wrong. My friend Colin came over that day early in the morning and we didn't finish until after 4pm! We had so much fun making them and it was so worth it. When we got there, we had more than enough. It happened to be a slow night, because it was the beginning of the month, so every person took a few to save for later. Even after that we still had some left. So we drove around the streets outside the facility looking for more homeless who might want something to eat. Some people have dogs and carts and don't come get food because they worry they will be taken if they don't guard them. So we spotted a few people under a dark bridge, so of course Colin being Colin, immediately hopped the curb and drove straight to them. We rolled down the windows and He asked the men if they wanted some sandwiches. They came over quickly and took them telling us thank you and praise God. What struck me the most was one man who looked quite old, with very dark skin, and barely spoken English. When we pulled up and gave him the sandwiches, he paused looked right at us and pointed up to the heavens and I remember hearing Jesus come from his lips, and we nodded in agreeance. He then whipped out a harmonica from his pocket and began to play what sounded like amazing grace on his harmonica followed by another slow and beautiful song. It was so beautiful, and it felt like time stood still in that moment. What made the most impact was that they knew we were doing what we were doing because of the Love of Jesus. That is the goal. Not to do good deeds and do kind things for our own glory, but to radiate Jesus in those things that GOD gets glory not ourselves.

 I hope that in all that I do, people bypass me and just see God and HIS love for them.  We are just the vessels, the carriers of the Love. We are His body going out into the world loving people. That is such a privilege and honor.

A week or so ago our pastor spoke on "Why do you do what you do? Who gets the glory? You or God?" This message was simple and wonderful and is such a great reminder of checking our reasons of why we do anything and everything. I hope that in all things I do, God is the one who is being glorified and not myself, and my reasons are for His purposes, not my own. If we do things for our own glory, it's worthless. If our lives are motivated by making Jesus' love known and the love of God through His son and by being the the body of Christ, then it's worth everything. Jesus is worth our whole lives and all of our dedication.

Someone I admire a lot is my Chiropractor. He is undeniably a Christian man, and glorifies God. He posts verses on his sign outside for people driving by, has Christian music playing inside, has prayed for our family, and most importantly shows how much he cares. He always makes my whole family laugh (we laugh at just about everything so maybe that's given), and asks questions that make me think. He most definitely glorifies God and it's evident by his love in the way he interacts with his patients. 

We can glorify God in the big and the small. Sometimes people ask themselves if they can glorify God doing a menial job, task or situation, and they doubt they can. I have asked myself that, and the Lord has shown me that the answer is Yes. Always. There is no menial task in God's purposeful eyes. We ask ourselves if we can glorify God in a situation, but maybe we should be asking the question in a different way..."Can I show love in this situation?" ..When we love, we radiate Him..because God is Love itself. Our answer will be yes. 


John 13:34-35
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

1 Corinthians 10:31
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

1 John 4:8
 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.


A man Spoke at a Graduation ceremony recently and his speech went Viral. It's about being kind to others and ultimately loving one another. I saw an interview with him on the news this morning. The following words are bits and pieces of his speech that I pulled out the parts I especially liked and a few words I got from his interview today...

"Kindness, it turns out, is hard.. – We get our butts kicked by real life, and people come to our defense, and help us, and we learn that we’re not separate, and don’t want to be.  We see people near and dear to us dropping away, and are gradually convinced that maybe we too will drop away. ..And so, a prediction, and my heartfelt wish for you: as you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love.  YOU will gradually be replaced by LOVE… Still, accomplishment is unreliable.  “Succeeding,” whatever that might mean to you, is hard, and the need to do so constantly renews itself (success is like a mountain that keeps growing ahead of you as you hike it), and there’s the very real danger that “succeeding” will take up your whole life, while the big questions go untended...Since, according to me, your life is going to be a gradual process of becoming kinder and more loving: Hurry up.  Speed it along.  Start right now.  There’s a confusion in each of us, a sickness, really: selfishness.  But there’s also a cure.  So be a good and proactive and even somewhat desperate patient on your own behalf – seek out the most efficacious anti-selfishness medicines, energetically, for the rest of your life. …Do all the other things, the ambitious things – but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness.  Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial. [(my own paraphrasing>Don’t betray the best part of yourself, the part that loves, forgives, protects, defends and offers this selfless kindness to others.] That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality – your soul, if you will – is as bright and shining as any that has ever been. Clear away everything that keeps you separate from this secret luminous place.  Believe it exists, come to know it better, nurture it, and share its fruits tirelessly. And at the end of your life,  I hope you will say: It has been so wonderful." 

Love 
Han.